I haven't been fulfilling my duties and responsibilities as a member of the One Direction fandom lately. For instance, I procrastinated on this appreciation post, which was due on their fourth anniversary as a band last July 23rd. But not anymore! Now that I'm just in time (okay, fine: I'm a day late) for yet another special occasion for the 1D Family, I'd like to say happy birthday to a man who is a lifesaver in his own right (hopefully, my fellow fans will get this reference), Mr. Liam Payne! Allow me to formally welcome you into adulthood with this blog dedicated to you and the four other boys who changed my life forever.
I fell in love with the five British-Irish dorks collectively known as One Direction just before the end of fifth grade. Fresh from a "break-up" with Justin Bieber, which composed of tearing down posters and deleting an estimated 700 photos and 47 songs from my prehistoric iPod Touch 3rd Gen, I was looking for another musical act to spice up my bland eleven year-old life. I heard about One Direction from a friend, who referred to them as a relatively new band whose songs were borderline bearable and their looks similar to that of a marsupial. I gave them a chance anyway one fateful weekend, giving their then unknown debut single "What Makes You Beautiful" a listen. As cliche as it may sound, they literally got me on the first guitar riff. I was attracted to these boys bouncing and frolicking around in a beach and singing lyrics straight out of a Hallmark card, like a handful of iron fillings to a magnet. (Oh God, that was a poorly constructed figure of speech.) The best part was I kept them something like my own dirty little secret. Nobody in school ever heard of them (excluding my friend who introduced me to them in the first place), and as selfish as it may sound, I was keen on keeping it that way for as long as possible.
Unfortunately for me, no secret remains one forever. After guesting on numerous TV and award shows and landing gig after gig to promote their newly-released first album, One Direction made it big in the United States during my summer vacation of 2012. Slowly, I was disappearing, shrinking into yet another small speck of dust in what seemed to be a galaxy of "Directioners". But, I did not let that serve as a hindrance for me. I did not care if my pesky second grade busmates were suddenly aware of their existence, or I heard their song several times a day on different radio stations that an earworm had already made my body its habitat.
Over the next few years (and even up to this day), I have accumulated a ridiculous amount of merchandise consisting of 3 albums, 3 books, an endless stack of t-shirts and unquantifiable objects with their faces on it (pencil cases, magazines, flash drives and the like). My bedroom walls are plastered with posters of them from the fetus stage to their current manhood phase. I devoted a huge portion of my free time to either memorizing their favorite jokes and the color of their duvets, or watching their video diaries until my eyes would turn sore. I constantly bombarded my companions with the latest happenings in their lives, despite them showing not even the slightest interest in what I had to say. I signed my name as "Angel Styles/Payne/Malik/Horan/Tomlinson" on any blank piece of paper I could get my hands on, and I doodled the One Direction logo on the pages of my textbooks in between periods.
I didn't care how foolish I may have looked then, or how people were starting to recognize me more for being a "Directioner" and not for any of the other kick-butt traits I may have possessed at that time. I fell in love with One Direction, because they made me feel secure in a world full of turbulence and uncertainty. Even if it seems so shallow, they made me believe I was beautiful and deserving to love and be loved through the music they made, especially since I was in a phase then when I was exposed to people far prettier than I could've ever hoped to be. It may sound impossible to some that a couple of crooning lads belting out remotely poetic lyrics could be one's source of joy, but they most definitely were mine.
Falling in love with a band engulfs and consumes you. You love them for all they are and do: all the songs they make and words they speak and movements they create. You love them for the most absurd reasons: for the creases in the corners of their eyes when they smile, for the way they talk like they're playing Chinese Whispers when they're excited, for the way they'd tweet how much they love you and they mean to you, which seems so real at times that it would take you to an alternate reality where they actually had a personal connection with you. This "love" I felt was so real that it was ridiculous for someone my age to feel, and I planned to keep it this way until the end, and maybe even after that.
Well much to our misfortune, after the release of their third album, Midnight Memories, last November, the boys started becoming more and more distant from us. They stopped interacting with fans over Twitter, to the point of making us feel neglected (we never let it show though - we just loved them too much). They let go of all their crazy antics in the past, which we have come to know and love. To cut the long story short, they grew up. It had a pretty big impact on me, for I was just quite a young girl, hopelessly adoring boys aged twenty and above.
And just when we thought things couldn't get harder for us, new problems were being thrown at us from every corner. We've lost over half of the fandom to 5 Seconds of Summer, One Direction's opening act for their Take Me Home tour, who is now making a name for themselves in the music industry. This sudden decrease in fans has led to several cyberspace arguments spearheaded by several hormonal teenagers, and people like me who idolize both bands feel like blink-182 singing along to "Stay Together for the Kids". (If you got that last reference, you are one hella rad character.)
We've also encountered a huge blow when the now infamous video of Zayn and Louis smoking weed went viral, with our boys' concert ticket sales plummeting down to an all time low and a surge of hate comments coming at them every five seconds. It was heartbreaking to see someone whom you once thought could do no wrong face such a dilemma, and as much as you wanted to return the favor and help them bear the weight of it all, you couldn't because they were just so out of reach.
We've also encountered a huge blow when the now infamous video of Zayn and Louis smoking weed went viral, with our boys' concert ticket sales plummeting down to an all time low and a surge of hate comments coming at them every five seconds. It was heartbreaking to see someone whom you once thought could do no wrong face such a dilemma, and as much as you wanted to return the favor and help them bear the weight of it all, you couldn't because they were just so out of reach.
But if there is one school-related thing that I can insert in this emotionally-charged post of mine, it's one quote of William Shakespeare in his Sonnet 116: "Love is not love, which alters when alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove." Just because the men of my dreams are changing in ways I sometimes can't even process or comprehend doesn't mean I'm going to desperately try to make them convert and live holy lives dedicated to serving the less fortunate. As much as it pains me to watch them grow up and become more famous than I could have ever imagined, I'll be like a proud mother watching them from the wings, basking and rejoicing in every achievement they make.
The three years I've been in the One Direction fandom have truly been a roller coaster of emotions, and I'd love to go on another ride for as long as possible! ☺ I hope this blog suffices, boys, and see you in 204 days!